to love and to honor from this day forward

There is a scene in the 1990’s remake of Miracle on 34th street, in which the girl-child, setting her unhappy mother straight about her disbelief, quite succinctly states, ‘I’m very sorry mother, you have it perfectly wrong’. It’s a favorite line for me.

Something like that happened to me today. Similar words, twice, from my soul to my self, setting me straight about the delusion I have been under, a delusion that has been causing me undue shame and despair.

All of these years, I have been believing my real life was on hold, awaiting my arrival after that huge detour that I took, when I was in truth living! Growing and becoming, expressing and embodying.  Authentically so. I got caught in the cultural(ego) trap, which dictates that certain accomplishments or ways of being are more worthy than others, so often in perverse proportion to their actual value.

First came a little morning validation. That always helps, especially when the usual mirrors in your life have no way of seeing because your experience is outside their range. Yes, this mirror reflected, what you have done, in fact what you are doing is HARD! And it is REAL. And it is a LOT. And you have performed it with the fullness of your flawed humanity, which, by the way, also includes grace, resilience, love, nobility, courage, perseverance, patience, compassion, and presence alongside that fumbling inadequacy and weariness.

That validation was followed by a good afternoon dose of soul truth revealed in the pages of a book that fell from the shelf onto my lap. Expecting to find myself indicted in its pages, and therefore in need of a lot of remediation and retrieval of what had been lost or stolen, I was struck once again by the whispered dignity and integrity of what i had labeled as less-than and broken.

After your many years of performing your (role) , you’ve not only mastered a form, but more importantly, you’ve acquired a deep-rooted familiarity with what your soul qualities feel like as they pour forth from you. On countless occasions you have observed your soul powers at work in the world. you saw the ways your best efforts affected others, how you changed the lives and experiences of people, perhaps how you shifted the collective field, or how certain human or natural habitats were rendered more wild, diverse, or vital. In these ways, you’ve acquired a nuanced feel for the results that your soul desires.  Now, (in the next stage of your life) you will engender those kinds of results regardless of how you get there, and often enough you in fact no longer know how you’ll get there. – Bill Plotkin

As I received the deep blessing of my life in these words, something healed in me. as if I recognized myself for the first time. That dim mirror wiped clean for a moment of the fog that covers it over, I could see clearly how it is that each role, each stage of my being HAS been infused with my soul. A soul that yearns for each human and non-human in this place to be received as beauty, to be valued, to know its original goodness; a soul that desires for each one to be, not only allowed, but encouraged to be uniquely and authentically who she/he/ki is because he/she/ki is breathtakingly vital; a soul that longs for the girl to know she is vibrant and the boy to know he is love, for women to know they are beloved sisters, for all to know they are sacred; a soul that longs for the earth to be wild with the gifts of blossom and fruit, beauty and bounty, and for humans to have a real place in that wildly mutual gifting.

My life has been spent nurturing and protecting the preciousness of life, and ‘perfecting this delivery system’ for whatever is next, the way of which will open before me, and into which my soul will infuse its gifts.  This time of my life is not at all about casting off stones, but carrying forward the diamond that has been honed by a life well lived.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. kidfriendlyyoga
    Apr 04, 2018 @ 22:38:19

    Brought me joy to read this and to see you claim your worth. . You indeed are full of strength and beauty and you bring much joy and healing into the lives of those you touch through your words. You would not be who you are had you not gone through and experienced what you have in life. It ALL has informed the beauty of who you are. You are right where you need to be. I am smiling with delight at this posting. You are such an amazing gifted individual and it brings me joy to see you embrace yourself!



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