song of songs

song of songs

oh god,
my soul is empty, naked
stripped of all but You
You alone can fill me
You alone can clothe me with your love.
there is nothing else can satisfy
nothing else can touch this longing
there is nothing else
but YOu
oh my god, sweet lover of my soul

and now You come bursting through
my opened door
into this empty room
with an urgency of passion
that i cannot deny

though i try to form the words
to resist your kiss
you cover them with your insistence
silencing each thought…
uncleanliness, unworthiness, unreadiness…
dissolved into the desire
of your embrace

oh god, it is as if i have become desire itself
pure and chaste for all but You
so that i open eagerly
aching with this sudden urgent longing to be filled
yearning to be entered by Your love

but suddenly, You are whisked away
seized from my hungry arms
and taken to another room
to be cleaned up
She murmurs underneath her breath
as She goes about her business
that You may not enter into me
nor even touch my sacred places
until defilement has been cleansed from You
all that which has sullied You for me
which has made it painful for me to receive You
which has hindered for so long our lovemaking
all this must be washed away


she brings you back into my bed
fresh and clean and new
….and so deflated
but now i take you in my mouth
willingly, lovingly, tenderly
and bring You back to life
take this Word made flesh
that like ezekiel’s scroll is surprising
sweetness in my mouth
what has been so bitter on my tongue
tastes of tenderness
as I see how your Love grows
these Words ingested bearing seeds in me


is this the second coming
of the blessed trinity…
baptism, resurrection, eucharist…
oh God, sweet lover of my soul
tell me
what does this mean?
what is this sacred life-giving thing
so vulnerable and tender
which invites my kiss
which longs to be touched and taken in
to be brought to life again

oh god,
may it be to love You
only to love You
always to love You
You alone
my one beloved
lover of my soul

oh how sweet this tenderness
this desire i have for You
this desire to behold You
only You, my beloved Love
to minister to You
touch You
take You in
with tenderness
and joy
this is it.
simple, pure love making
it is the only thing that makes sense in this life
love making

Night 2

here you are again
awakening me with Your kisses
kissing me
and kissing me
and kissing me again
each unuttered protest silenced
by your love
your kisses
passionate upon my lips
silence each resistance as it forms
dissolved into desire
each perceived flaw
beheld by your gaze
each ugly inch of flesh
you touch
as if i were beauty
as if you do not care at all
about these things that torment me
as if you merely want me
all of me

on my lips you kiss me
on my mouth
so hungry
receiving, receiving, receiving
over and again
oh god
i long to kiss you back
but it seems my lips are languid
my tongue too timid
and yet you continue to bestow
such tenderness to me

you kiss me
as if i am a delicacy
tender, juicy, succulent.
i try to reach my tongue to you
but you will not be tasted !
it is as if You want to take ME in

and then suddenly
your lips depart
leaving mine alone
and you turn to taste my tenderness
oh such tender intimacy do you offer me
oh what desire it creates in me
even as i gasp in surprise
something in me rises
rises up to meet your hunger

oh god!
my beloved
sweet lover of my soul
what does this mean?
this way you choose to be so intimate with me
tasting me so sweetly
as if i taste of sweetness
as if each dip of your lips to mine
brings to you delight.
oh god
can you delight in me? so much
what have i done to deserve
such tenderness from you
what sweetness is it that you taste in me?
that you would choose to please me
seeking nothing for yourself
but that i know
how tenderly
how intimately
how longingly
i am loved

oh god
sweet lover of my soul
what passion does this stir in me for you
this desire to meet you
it swells in me
it causes me to rise
it is unstoppable
this flow of longing
this yearning for your lips to graze
to brush across my sacred tenderness
this place of opening to you

oh god
my Beloved
that which flows here is for You
for You alone, oh god
this sacred nectar which you wish to taste
this juiciness
this receptivitiy
this is Yours alone

oh god
i come for none but You
i desire for none but You
i flow for none but You
and i will conceive this child
for You
this child born of our love making
humanity and divinity
growing in one body
oh blessed mixture
oh blessed union

oh god
my lover
may i be still with this
beneath the passion of our lovemaking
may i be silent
may i hold this tenderly
as You hold me
may i hold it precious
not to be squandered frivolously
not to be displayed
but ponder these things in my heart alone
where You have whispered You belong.

oh god
sweet and tender
lover of my soul
you, who are the lover of all souls,
you bring to each one this gentle touch
this undying desire
this passionate embrace
this penetrating love
this longing to enter in and be received
and to conceive new seeds of life
that flow and overflow from you
and humanity is blessed to be your womb
penetrated by the Mystery that is You
loving all
embracing all
fulfilling all
oh god, how sweet this union
of humanity and divinity

here in this blessed womb
you will be nurtured
and again poured out
unceasing flow

night 3

oh god,
sweet, sweet lover of my soul
tonight you come to me again
dressed in clothes
of humanity
and yet, no matter how you come
i see that it is You

a part of me is cautious
a part of me is frightened
a part of me denies that this is You
and You ask for her hand
but she withdraws it from your touch
and You gaze into her eyes
but she turns away

oh god,
i am jealous that You want her love instead of me!
but then You turn Your gaze to me and i see
You want it all
and i say yes
unflinchingly, unquestioningly
although she cautions me to save myself
from shame. i go

and once again
the thoughts do flash
that i am unworthy
that i am imperfect
that i am not truly beauty
but You see none of this
even as You see the whole of me
my flaws embraced
nay, savored.
no. you will not bring me shame

nor will i bring shame to myself
for i am chaste
for all but You
none other holds my heart
none other draws my eye
there is only You

no matter how You come dressed
when i take You to my bed
to the place of our love making
and remove your clothes
there You are, my beloved
my own heart’s desire
lying there before me
and i see you
i behold you
i am overcome with Tenderness
as i have never before known
It flows from me
like a river through this broken dam.

oh god
this is too much
i can bear it no longer
how to keep this all inside
how to carry it
this love i have for YOu
oh god
when t wants to overflow!
when it wants to be sung!

but oh god
i know i cannot sing it!
not with these lyrics
not with this melody
no, this song i cannot share with another
this song is our song
our wedding song
and i fear that to sing it out loud
would be to defile our sacred union
You have consecrated our lovemaking
but to ears unaccustomed to these holy sounds
it would sound gutteral and debase
not at all the lilting, heavenly choir of angels
that i hear
this melody of love

oh god
to sing would be to ruin what we ahve
and if ear that this precious tenderness
i now hold would slip from my hands
and i would be left holding shame…

oh god
sweet lover of my soul
let me ponder these things in my heart
let me place them in your own
let this secret love between us
heart to Heart
and soul to Soul
be enough to fill me
and may my emptiness not be of You
for if i seek affirmation
of YOur love from anything less than You alone
i know i would be left wanting….
nay i should say stripped…
of you

may i instead ponder these things in my heart
as my sisters have before me
as my sisters do today
oh god
sweet, sweet lover
come to me
Your all seeing
all embracing
all knowing
all encompassing
all penetrating
all that I am Love
is enough for me

all honor and glory are Yours and Yours alone. And so if i sing this song at all, You alone shall be my song. i need nothing for my self when i have You. anything less than You cheapnens me.

oh god,
how can this Love of ours
that threatens to overflow
how can i hold it?
i cannot
unless i grow.
i cannot
unless i learn to release it
in a new kind of Lovesong
This love we share
transformed into a song of Love for You…..this You i see wearing humanity’s clothes, wearing your disguises and Your veils.
can i take the energy and the passion
of this our lovemaking
and make it public!
share the tenderness of our Love….with You alone!
by sharing it with You alone in the faces of humanity
in which i behold my Beloved’s face.
You, who are hidden and yet present
You, who come to me this evening weary
wearing different clothes

let me then behold You in these faces
that i may love You there
behold YOU
touch YOU
receive YOU
bring YOu back to life.
may this be my focus
not upon my self and this precious unearned blessing
that i have received
but in You.
the way YOu come to me,
needing me to see You, needing me to touch You
needing me to receive YOU, needing me to Love YOu as You are

oh god
sweet lover of my soul
go with me
a secret Lover in my heart
filling me each moment to this place of overflowing
that i may also overflow
into You
back to YOu
always to You
not for my self
but for the Self i see in You
the You i see in me

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: the midwifery « Emmaatlast’s Weblog
  2. Trackback: under the bed | Emmaatlast's Weblog

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