I have played the scene out
and there is nothing but pain in the end
after the fleeting moments of bliss
comes the destruction of souls
I bring nothing but devastation
and leave a path of death in my wake
Why God, have you cursed me like this
Why can there be only pain whenever I am touched.
God, you have given me this body
put me here in this human form
and left me here alone
i have been beaten and betrayed
while you sat doing nothing
and now i cry out to you
and the pain drips onto this page
it pours out of my soul like blood
from a deep and jagged wound
while they sleep
oblivious to my need
are you sleeping too God?
why have you abandoned me here
i cry out to you but you deny me
for i am still
alone
alone with this pain
alone with this knowledge of evil,
it hurts
it hurts,
it hurts oh dear god, it hurts
and i don’t know what to do with this pain
with this aching loneliness.
please
send someone to touch me
please
send someone to touch me
please
send someone to touch me
for you have created me like this
given me this human form
i am warm and alive
no ethereal holy vision to be worshipped
from afar
i am merely a woman with a woman’s need
for touch
oh this longing is too deep for words
where is it coming from
it feels so physical
yet it is deep within my soul
an aching need that i cannot explain
a need to make your love for me feel real
body/soul we are one
the aching of one being God, please
send someone to touch me
please send someone to heal me
to heal me with their hands
to honor me with their touch
a touch that is soft and tender
not violent and painful
someone to hold me while i cry
to gaze into my eyes
and see into my soul
let me see Your Love for me
make your Love for me real
someone to marvel in the embodiment
of my soul
to tell me of my beauty
with their hands
someone to show me Yours
to wrap themselves around me
so i can sleep at last
so i can have peace at last
but there is no one here for me
and my imagination is not good enough
i can close my eyes and try to feel your presence
i can hear your words to me but i cannot make it physical
and though i am a spiritual being
i am physical as well
blood
runs through this flesh
i long for a loving touch God, why
would you give me this need for touch a
nd then hurt me with it
is that how you cherished me?
is that what you thought of me?
if this need for human touch
this yearning for intimacy
is really a yearning to know you
if touch is an expression of Divine Love
a physical way to Know you
then my Knowledge of you is painful
and i don’t want
to Know you.
why god why
why
why
why did you hurt me so
let me hang to suffer and die
and crucify my soul
why god
why
why
why did you
abandon me
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