Day 15: Immanuel
Isaiah 7: 10-17
Today, it snows. And You are here.
Yesterday I felt You as surely as the breeze upon the meadow.
But today, You are blanketed in snow.
Are You are the One who blankets?
You are stillness.
I am chaos.
I am falling into You.
You are falling onto me.
We catch one another.
It is quiet.
It is cold.
In a moment, everything looks different.
Within each moment everything is the same.
From day to day, You are constant.
I am changing.
From day to day You go with me, never moving.
Still….You are.
I am scattered.
You receive my seeds.
I am drifting,
You are Anchor, Everywhere
You are Blessing
me
I gorge myself on mindlessness
You are mindful of my presence
I forget to look for You.
You remember me.
I am numb to Your touch
You touch.
When the overseer binds me
and fear captivates me
You ease your way around the bars
to show up in my cell
and then you pull the curtain
on this Holiest of Holies.
Love, Too often, I lose the connection,
as if my dial is shifted slightly ‘clockwise’ to the 2
instead of centered on the 1
and the eternal presence that You are,
permeating this space and time,
is not picked up by my antenna.
But instead of beating myself up, criticizing even my presence to You,
I can fall into the trust that You are with me as I am,
with or without my doing.
I trust You to go with me,
with or without me.
I trust in where We are.
O Love, may I stop 2nd guessing where I am and trust that You know! To continue to trust in Your Presence only in times of awareness, in experiences of deep union and bliss (when it is so easy to know that heaven and earth are One) is to deny our union. I must also trust that You are here with me in the places when I am most certain that earth is only present.
When I am experiencing only the meandering lack of focus that is my humanity,
You are dreaming me into being.
When I am experiencing only the wastefulness of human time,
You are wasting time in me.
In moments when my attention is completely lacking,
You are overflowing into the space.
With or without my awareness,
You consecrate my being.
O Love, this mixing of my humanity with your divinity
does accomplish something precious
So often, I don’t recognize that You are here, until afterwards…when I spot the gift that You have left behind. O Love, I bless You for those gems.
May I trust that what I perceive as barren wasteland today,
will be overflowing with honey when I awaken.
When I open my eyes to You,
the voices of no-goodness I hear in my nightmares
will dissolve in the splendor of dawn.
And these virginal places,
where I haven’t Known You to Be in the past,
places I have considered unworthy or devoid,
may I know to be filled with You.
May I bless these as places
where You are depositing your seeds and receiving mine.
Virginal places, filled with Your Presence
breathing the wisdom of “God with us’.
And may the remaining remnants of fear that rule and divide my heart …
into worthy and unworthy,
barren and fruitful,
heaven and earth,
God and human,
virgin and mother!….
fall away like a veil to reveal the deep Beauty of who We are.
O, Love, there You are.
When did You show up?
